Written by Peter Freeth, Managing Director, Communications in Action

This month we’re continuing a series of articles based on some of my favourite quotes. If you have a favourite quote or saying that you would like to see featured, send it in to Big Fish by replying to this newsletter.
“The major problems of the world today can be solved only if we improve our understanding of human behaviour”, B.F.Skinner

B.F.Skinner was a psychologist, known for his experiments into human behaviour. Less famously, he helped the American military develop pigeon guided missiles during the second world war.

Have you ever found someone else’s behaviour confusing? Have you ever wondered why someone made a certain decision when a better option was glaringly obvious? And have you ever felt misunderstood?

We are all naturally empathic. We understand other people intuitively. We see and hear other people’s actions and they make sense to us, because we are able to imagine what they’re thinking. You’ve heard the expression “put yourself in my shoes”? Well in order to understand me, you don’t put yourself in my shoes – you put me in your own shoes. You don’t imagine what it would be like to be me, you take your understanding of me and put it inside your own mind.

This has a very important implication for understanding other people. When other people are strange and confusing, it’s because their behaviour doesn’t make sense to you. Yet of course it makes perfect sense to them. Think of something that you do that you like to do a certain way. Other people might tell you there’s a better way, or a faster way, or ask you why you do it that way. Yet you know that your way is best, because you understand your way. You understand how it works for you. They don’t really understand, do they?

So this month’s message is very simple. It’s to realise that when you understand someone else, you do it by putting them inside your map of the world, your own set of experiences, your own beliefs. And the fact that you understand anyone at all given the limitations of that is remarkable in itself.

So if B.F. Skinner had known all this fifty years ago, he might have said, “The major problems of the world today can be solved only if we improve our understanding of our own behaviour and recognise that other people are doing the best they can in the situations they believe themselves to be in”.

So as you look around you and try to understand others, remember that you can never know what is really in their minds, yet you can become more aware of what is in your own, and that’s a very good first step to take.

Who is the author? 

Peter Freeth is the author and founder of Communications In Action. Peter will be writing informative and essential career support articles each and every month.

Communications In Action is a leading business coaching and training consultancy. Peter and other members of the consultancy deliver coaching, training and other professional development services to a wide range of businesses, in the UK and internationally.